Everyone believes in miracles…until one happens. Then all hell breaks loose.

Carlene Stiles is 26 years old, twice divorced and living in a trailer park. She’s sworn off men, sells a little weed to get by and hasn’t been to church in a decade. One night she’s sitting on her back deck and a column of glittery light tumbles down from the sky, landing on the shed behind her doublewide.

Is that a woman on the roof…?


Holy sh*t. It’s the Virgin Mary!

Our Lady of Variety

Variety’s Cast of  Characters…

Carlene Stiles Variety NC


Carlene Stiles talks to the Virgin Mary. She’s not happy about it.

“Just so we’re clear, I’m not blowing up Planned Parenthood or anything like that.”



Rachel’s son was abducted, presumed dead but his remains were never found.

She’s convinced the Virgin Mary will help her find him. She is a favorite of the Reverend Elvis.

mrs chalk

Mrs Chalk

The closest thing to a mom that Carlene has ever had. She believes Carlene was chosen.

“Honey, you’re a gift from God. Now go home and start acting like one.”



Carlene’s best friend. Mother to Jesse, married to Danny. She tries to be grateful for the job at Walmart.

When Carlene told her about the Virgin Mary, she couldn’t stop laughing.


Max is Carlene’s lover. He’s crazy about her, moved in after a single night of sex and tequila. 

He’s sure about Carlene but not the Virgin Mary. “Am I really sleeping with a girl who talks to the mother of God?”

LadyBug Mayfield

Ladybug Mayfield is a force to be reckoned with. She’s one of the few folks in Variety who still has any money.

She is fully bought in on #TeamCarlene and she’s one of the founders of this website. 

Reverend Elvis

The Reverend loves wine and Graceland almost as much as Jesus. He lived on the streets of Las Vegas until he was compelled to join the Lady.

He carries the soul of Elvis Presley with him at Jesus’ request. Don’t ask.

virgin mary

You Know Who

Carlene thinks she has “control issues” but the Blessed Mother couldn’t care less. She’s busy raising holy hell on social media.

She’s not your mother’s Virgin Mary. Crueler times are coming.


@ Smashwords

@ Amazon

@ Amazon



@ Amazon